This man's torment, is the reason you "Don't stay mad" or "Don't go to bed angry".

I'm sure you've heard those words before, I know that I have wished that I had remembered to say "I love you", or had one more hug, shared one more kiss on more than one occasion in my lifetime, What about you?.

All the lives lost from the attacks on September 11th, 2001 brought the same kind of misery, regret and frustration.

I can't help but imagine how different this world would be if we lived our lives, every day, like we might not have a chance to see each other again; share a few more laughs; or say the words and thoughts we really feel.

Every moment is precious, squeeze out every ounce of living, loving and laughing that it can offer you. Never let yourself to be idle or bored, there are to many wonderful things we could be allowing ourselves to enjoy with the people we know and love and those who we will come to know and care about.

New York Daily News -

http://www.nydailynews.com

Lidle dad's tearful regret

By MICHELLE CARUSO in Glendora, Calif.and CORKY SIEMASZKO in New York

DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITERS

Saturday, October 14th, 2006

Wracked by regret, Cory Lidle's father recalled yesterday how he turned down the doomed Yankee's invitation to come watch him pitch against the Detroit Tigers in the playoffs.
"'Son, I think you'll get by them,'" a weeping Douglas Lidle remembered telling his son in what turned out to be their last conversation.

But it was not to be. Three days after the Yankees fell to the Tigers, Lidle and his flight instructor perished when their plane crashed into a Manhattan skyscaper.

"Not being able to hold him, that will be the hardest part," said Douglas Lidle, 53. Lidle's body, which was so battered he had to be identified through dental records, is expected to be flown home today to California - courtesy of the Yankees and Major League Baseball.

"Mom, I'm so alone," Lidle's widow, Melanie, told her mother, Mary Varela, after the strain of planning her husband's funeral got to her. "I feel so alone."

Lidle's 6-year-old son, Christopher, who also had maintained remarkable composure, fell apart when he saw his dad's fraternal twin brother, Kevin. "I look like Cory, and Christopher said, 'Hi Uncle Kevin,'" said Kevin Lidle, 34. "And then a couple minutes later it hit him. And he had a little tear.'"
"He kind of went, 'Oh,' and then he realized," Varela added. "The kid's been sweeping it under the rug. He's tough like his father. He doesn't like drama."

Douglas Lidle couldn't hold back the tears as he recalled his final words with his son.
"'Hey, man, you should come out for the ALDS,'" Lidle said, referring to the American League Division Series. "'You never know if that will be our season. That could be the end ....'"

But the grieving dad said he told his son the Yankees would make it to the World Series and that he'd already ordered tickets and made hotel reservations in New York.

Wearing the Yankee Division Series cap his brother had given him, Kevin Lidle said that after learning of the plane crash, "I thought to myself, 'Maybe he wasn't flying in that plane.' I thought he might have survived."

"The last time I saw him was in Tampa when the Yankees played the Devil Rays [three weeks ago]," he said. "We went and ate dinner at the St. Pete Ale House and when it was over we shook hands and gave each other a half-hug like we always do."

Both father and son said they were unaware that Lidle and flight instructor Tyler Stanger had planned to fly over New York in Lidle's new single-engine plane. They just knew their first stop on the way back to California was Nashville.

"He was probably looking forward to getting home after a very long season," Kevin Lidle said. "As far as we know, he was just on his way home."

Five residents of the Belaire building on E. 72nd St. were hurt but nobody in the building was killed when Lidle's Cirrus SR20 plowed into the north side of the condominium and briefly stoked fears of another Sept. 11-type attack.

The National Transportation Safety Board is investigating the tragic crash, but investigators still are not certain whether Lidle, a novice pilot, or Stanger, who had only flown in New York once, was at the controls.

That could be crucial to the Lidle family. If he was flying the Cirrus SR20, his kin would not be eligible for a $1.5 million insurance payment from baseball's benefit plan, which excludes "any incident related to travel in an aircraft ... while acting in any capacity other than as a passenger."
Kevin Lidle said right now the most important thing is that his brother is "remembered the way he really was."

"He was the kind of guy where if you were walking down the street he'd never say, 'I'm a Yankee,'" he said. "He was not one to brag about where he'd been or what he'd done. He loved to laugh. He had a great sense of humor, sometimes dry."

With Pete Donohue, Alison Gendar, Jordan Lite and Peter Kadushin

Choosing where you are

By Forrest Hershberger
Journal-Advocate news editor
Wednesday, October 4, 2006 3:04 PM MDT

I was reminded of our political process Monday night while reviewing a price list of a local photographer.

The name of the photographer isn't important, nor is the reason I was looking at the price list. What stuck with me is the implication that if you didn't ask for it, you won't get it. This price list was an outline of photographs to be taken, duties to be done during a wedding.

Still not with me? Here it is. We have a multi-party system, although it is primarily a two-party system. The multi-party system is in place, a necessary part of our history, because those that left their European homelands didn't like being told how to think. In some cases, as is now in many countries, the vote is almost worthless because there is only one candidate.

Let's face it. In a discussion with at least two people there will be at least two opinions on most every subject. This is the simplest of math equations: One and one still make two. But, and this is especially true with the political process, discussions are dominated by the one the speaks the loudest or smoothest, and surrendered by the one that doesn't believe he counts or just doesn't care.

If I could collect a dollar for each time I've heard a person say they don't vote because it doesn't matter, well, the price of gasoline really wouldn't matter to me much.

I've heard philosophical thinkers say “you are where you are because you choose to be.” I can't say I always agree with that cliché. Sometimes you are where you are because you choose not to be somewhere else. One place I choose not to be is in a sea of self-pity after an election. If I didn't take the effort to vote, I have myself to blame first if the outcome is not what I want.

Logan County does not have a stellar record of voter turnout. Unfortunately, it is not alone. Logan County voter turnout for the 2000 primary was only 22 percent of all active voters; the general election increased to 69 percent. The 2002 primary improved, but still less than half; 42 percent showed for the primary and 56 percent for the general election. In 2004, the primary election had a turnout of 42 percent and the general election at 76 percent. The primary election held only a few weeks ago was still in the mid- to high 20s.

So, by statistics alone it appears as though voters assume the primary doesn't mean much, on top of a generally cynical outlook on the democratic system. The reality is the system is not that complicated. Regardless of whether you like the system, or the candidates, everyone who lives and breathes in Logan County, Colorado, and the United States, and can legally vote, ought to do so.

Yes, sometimes a voter feels like he or she is choosing between the best of the worst - without a doubt. However, that comment opens the door of the moral condition of society at large. The formula is simple: Get as much information as possible - newspapers, radio, television, voter booklets, your uncle Fred - it doesn't matter where, but get as much as you can. Then make your decision in the booth.

Don't forget. Northeast Colorado voters tipped the decision for Gov. Owens in his first bid for election - by only a few votes. Sometimes you are where you are because you choose to be there, and sometimes you are where you are because you didn't choose.

Well said, Mr Hershberger! I re-print this editorial because I hope that so many who have the privilege to vote will do so this November, using their right to bring about changes that we like to bellyache about. Now, lets get off our butts and do something about it!~ Whurlie

One major disservice I have provided myself, in the past, is the belief that all the little conversations and arguments that I carry on in my head are the true and final conclusions of what I should believe and embrace as the basis for my ethics and principles; my 'acts of confirmation', and when I have allowed this to happen, I find myself stuck in a rut. Simply because I somehow embraced these tenets at my beliefs, and I should be true to them, right? I mean, what would it say about me if I were to constantly change my mind about who I am and how I should behave as a person? I learned today that, maybe, what it would say about me is this:

I am a learning and growing human being.

With emphasis on the 'being', as my native heritage has recently taught me. If I don't grow and learn, I will stagnate; atrophy; shrivel up and die, mentally and spiritually.

It amazes me how much more I have learned in my lifetime since my 'learning years' when I should have spent more time learning about how to learn, not about how to assimilate myself into a society of snot-nosed, know-nothing peers who didn't have a clue, either! I was mostly a loner in school, but only because I didn't fit in any of the social molds that were available for assimilation. I grudgingly carved my own little niche as being 'unique', like so many others.

The hardest part about changing my beliefs is coming out of my comfort zone and making the new behaviors that I want to emulate a living breathing part of my daily life. "Walk the Talk" as they say. There it is again 'they'. The unnamed, yet esteemed, peers that I have used as the gauge for my personal expectations throughout most of my life.

Well, come to find out, 'they' are quite important but in a new perspective. Instead of looking for acceptance and love, I've discovered that in order to fulfill myself, I need to give acceptance and love to 'them'. All those unnamed and yet to be known who cross my path. Hmmmm, whodathunk!

Now that 'path' part is still something I'm deliberating, and it's a work in progress, so where it will finally lead me, I'm not able to say, but I can say that how I walk down that path is, at last, apparent to me, and this is what I'll make my focus, and grow in this knowledge, one step at a time.

*!*

A friend sent me an email with this information and I was compelled to put it in the Blog, however, I wanted to verify the information so I found it on SNOPES. It goes to the heart of my sentiments for the USA. Maybe America can stop trying to be the end-all answer to everyone and everything under the sun, and start taking care of our own~

You can go to the site and review the complete entry, circa July 2005. I present this portion of the email as it was presented to me, in order to generate a specific sentiment.

Muslims Out of Australia!

Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia, as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks.

A day after a group of mainstream Muslim leaders pledged loyalty to Australia and her Queen at a special meeting with Prime MinisterJohn Howard, he and his Ministers made it clear that extremists would face a crackdown.

Treasurer Peter Costello, seen as heir apparent to Howard, hinted that some radical clerics could be asked to leave the country if they did not accept that Australia was a secular state, and its laws were made by parliament. "If those are not your values, if you want a country which has Sharia law or a theocratic state, then Australia is not for you", he said on national television.

"I'd be saying to clerics who are teaching that there are two laws governing people in Australia, one the Australian law and another the Islamic law; that is false. If you can't agree with parliamentary law, independent courts, democracy, and would prefer Sharia law and have the opportunity to go to another country, which practices it, perhaps, then, that's a better option," Costello said.

Asked whether he meant radical clerics would be forced to leave, he said those with dual citizenship could possibly be asked to move to the other country. Education Minister Brendan Nelson later told reporters that Muslims who did not want to accept local values should "clear off. Basically people who don't want to be Australians, and who don't want to live by Australian values and understand them, well then, they can basically clear off", he said.

Separately, Howard angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying he supported spy agencies monitoring the nation's mosques. Quote:

"IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave it. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks onBali, we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians.

"However, the dust from the attacks had barely settled when the 'politically correct' crowd began complaining about the possibility that our patriotism was offending others. I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to Australia.

"However, there are a few things that those who have recently come to our country, and apparently some born here, need to understand.

"This idea of Australia being a multicultural community has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. As Australians, we have our own culture, our own society, our own language and our own lifestyle.

"This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom.

"We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society, learn the language!

"Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, rightwing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.

"We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us.

"If the Southern Cross offends you, or you don't like 'A Fair Go,' then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet. We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change,and we really don't care how you did things where you came from. By all means, keep your culture, but do not force it on others.

"This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom, 'THE RIGHT TO LEAVE.'

"If you aren't happy here then LEAVE. We didn't force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted."
------------------------
Maybe if we circulate this amongst ourselves, American citizens will find the backbone to start speaking and voting the same truths!!

I've researched this little gem and haven't been able to find it's author, however I do know for sure that it wasn't George Carlin or Bill Boudreux. I can't help but agree with the sentiment. See what you think~


"New Orleans
Been sitting here with my ass in a wad, wanting to speak out about the bullshit going on in New Orleans.

For the people of New Orleans...
First we would like to say, Sorry for your loss. With that said, Let's go through a few hurricane rules: (Unlike an earthquake, we know it's coming)

#1. A mandatory evacuation means just that...Get the hell out. Don't blame the Government after they tell you to go. If they hadn't said anything, I can see the argument. They said get out... if you didn't, it's your fault, not theirs. (We don't want to hear it, even if you don't have a car, you can get out.)

#2. If there is an emergency, stock up on water and non-perishables. If you didn't do this, it's not the Government's fault you're starving. #2a. If you run out of food and water, find a store that has some. (Remember, shoes, TV's, DVD's and CD's are not edible. Leave them alone.) #2b. If the local store has been looted of food or water, leave your neighbor's TV and stereo alone. (See #2a) They worked hard to get their stuff. Just because they were smart enough to leave during a mandatory evacuation, doesn't give you the right to take their stuff...it's theirs, not yours.

#3. If someone comes in to help you, don't shoot at them and then complain no one is helping you. I'm not getting shot to help save some dumbass who didn't leave when told to do so.

#4. If you are in your house that is completely under water, your belongings are probably too far gone for anyone to want them. If someone does want them, let them have them and hopefully they'll die in the filth. Just leave! (It's New Orleans, find a voodoo warrior and put a curse on them.)

#5. My tax money should not pay to rebuild a 2 million dollar house, a sports stadium or a floating casino. Also, my tax money shouldn't go to rebuild a city that is under sea level. You wouldn't build your house on quicksand would you? You want to live below sea-level, do your country some good and join the Navy.

#6. Regardless of what the Poverty Pimps Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton want you to believe, The US Government didn't create the Hurricane as a way to eradicate the black people of New Orleans; (Neither did Russia, as a way to destroy America). The US Government didn't cause global warming that caused the hurricane (We've been coming out of an ice age for over a million years).

#7. The government isn't responsible for giving you anything. This is the land of the free and the home of the brave, but you gotta work for what you want. McDonalds and Wal-Mart are always hiring, get a damn job and stop spooning off the people who are actually working for a living. President Kennedy said it best..."Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.""

This is the most incisive commentary on Hurricane Katrina that I have seen. It's a long read, but MAN, does it make sense!! Hope it's helpful to you. --Mary

Thanks Mary, I'll have to share this with as many as I can. It makes sense to me!

An Unnatural Disaster: A Hurricane Exposes the Man-Made Disaster of the Welfare State

An Objectivist Review by Robert Tracinski
--- The Intellectual Activist September 2, 2005

It has taken four long days for state and federal officials to figure out how to deal with the disaster in New Orleans. I can't blame them, because it has also taken me four long days to figure out what is going on there. The reason is that the events there make no sense if you think that we are confronting a natural disaster. If this is just a natural disaster, the response for public officials is obvious: you bring in food, water, and doctors; you send transportation to evacuate refugees to temporary shelters; you send engineers to stop the flooding and rebuild the city's infrastructure. For journalists, natural disasters also have a familiar pattern: the heroism of ordinary people pulling together to survive; the hard work and dedication of doctors, nurses, and rescue workers; the steps being taken to clean up and rebuild. Public officials did not expect that the first thing they would have to do is to send thousands of armed troops in armored vehicle, as if they are suppressing an enemy insurgency. And journalists--myself included--did not expect that the story would not be about rain, wind, and flooding, but about rape, murder, and looting.

But this is not a natural disaster. It is a man-made disaster. The man-made disaster is not an inadequate or incompetent response by federal relief agencies, and it was not directly caused by Hurricane Katrina. This is where just about every newspaper and television channel has gotten the story wrong. The man-made disaster we are now witnessing in New Orleans did not happen over the past four days. It happened over the past four decades. Hurricane Katrina merely exposed it to public view. The man-made disaster is the welfare state.

For the past few days, I have found the news from New Orleans to be confusing. People were not behaving as you would expect them to behave in an emergency--indeed, they were not behaving as they have behaved in other emergencies. That is what has shocked so many people: they have been saying that this is not what we expect from America. In fact, it is not even what we expect from a Third World country. When confronted with a disaster, people usually rise to the occasion. They work together to rescue people in danger, and they spontaneously organize to keep order and solve problems. This is especially true in America. We are an enterprising people, used to relying on our own initiative rather than waiting around for the government to take care of us. I have seen this a hundred times, in small examples (a small town whose main traffic light had gone out, causing ordinary citizens to get out of their cars and serve as impromptu traffic cops, directing cars through the intersection) and large ones (the spontaneous response of New Yorkers to September 11).

So what explains the chaos in New Orleans? To give you an idea of the magnitude of what is going on, here is a description from a Washington Times story: "Storm victims are raped and beaten; fights erupt with flying fists, knives and guns; fires are breaking out; corpses litter the streets; and police and rescue helicopters are repeatedly fired on. "The plea from Mayor C. Ray Nagin came even as National Guardsmen poured in to restore order and stop the looting, carjackings and gunfire...."Last night, Gov. Kathleen Babineaux Blanco said 300 Iraq-hardened Arkansas National Guard members were inside New Orleans with shoot-to-kill orders."'These troops are...under my orders to restore order in the streets,' she said. 'They have M-16s, and they are locked and loaded. These troops know how to shoot and kill and they are more than willing to do so if necessary and I expect they will.' "

The reference to Iraq is eerie. The photo that accompanies this article shows National Guard troops, with rifles and armored vests, riding on an armored vehicle through trash-strewn streets lined by a rabble of squalid, listless people, one of whom appears to be yelling at them. It looks exactly like a scene from Sadr City in Baghdad. What explains bands of thugs using a natural disaster as an excuse for an orgy of looting, armed robbery, and rape? What causes unruly mobs to storm the very buses that have arrived to evacuate them, causing the drivers to drive away, frightened for their lives? What causes people to attack the doctors trying to treat patients at the Super Dome? Why are people responding to natural destruction by causing further destruction? Why are they attacking the people who are trying to help them?

My wife, Sherri, figured it out first, and she figured it out on a sense-of-life level. While watching the coverage last night on Fox News Channel, she told me that she was getting a familiar feeling. She studied architecture at the Illinois Institute of Chicago, which is located in the South Side of Chicago just blocks away from the Robert Taylor Homes, one of the largest high-rise public housing projects in America. "The projects," as they were known, were infamous for uncontrollable crime and irremediable squalor. (They have since, mercifully, been demolished.)

What Sherri was getting from last night's television coverage was a whiff of the sense of life of "the projects." Then the "crawl"--the informational phrases flashed at the bottom of the screen on most news channels--gave some vital statistics to confirm this sense:
- 75% of the residents of New Orleans had already evacuated before the hurricane, and of the 300,000 or so who remained, a large number were from the city's public housing projects.
- Jack Wakeland then gave me an additional, crucial fact: early reports from CNN and Fox indicated that the city had no plan for evacuating all of the prisoners in the city's jails--so they just let many of them loose.

There is no doubt a significant overlap between these two populations--that is, a large number of people in the jails used to live in the housing projects, and vice versa. There were many decent, innocent people trapped in New Orleans when the deluge hit--but they were trapped alongside large numbers of people from two groups: criminals--and wards of the welfare state, people selected, over decades, for their lack of initiative and self-induced helplessness. The welfare wards were a mass of sheep--on whom the incompetent administration of New Orleans unleashed a pack of wolves.

All of this is related, incidentally, to the apparent incompetence of the city government, which failed to plan for a total evacuation of the city, despite the knowledge that this might be necessary. But in a city corrupted by the welfare state, the job of city officials is to ensure the flow of handouts to welfare recipients and patronage to political supporters--not to ensure a lawful, orderly evacuation in case of emergency. No one has really reported this story, as far as I can tell. In fact, some are already actively distorting it, blaming President Bush, for example, for failing to personally ensure that the Mayor of New Orleans had drafted an adequate evacuation plan.

The worst example is an execrable piece from the Toronto Globe and Mail, by a supercilious Canadian who blames the chaos on American "individualism.

"But the truth is precisely the opposite: the chaos was caused by a system that was the exact opposite of individualism. What Hurricane Katrina exposed was the psychological consequences of the welfare state. What we consider "normal" behavior in an emergency is behavior that is normal for people who have values and take the responsibility to pursue and protect them. People with values respond to a disaster by fighting against it and doing whatever it takes to overcome the difficulties they face. They don't sit around and complain that the government hasn't taken care of them. They don't use the chaos of a disaster as an opportunity to prey on their fellow men.

But what about criminals and welfare parasites? Do they worry about saving their houses and property? They don't, because they don't own anything. Do they worry about what is going to happen to their businesses or how they are going to make a living? They never worried about those things before. Do they worry about crime and looting? But living off of stolen wealth is a way of life for them. The welfare state--and the brutish, uncivilized mentality it sustains and encourages--is the man-made disaster that explains the moral ugliness that has swamped New Orleans. And that is the story that no one is reporting.

THE FINAL INSPECTION
The soldier stood and faced God,
Which must always come to pass.
He hoped his shoes were shining,
Just as brightly as his brass.

"Step forward now, you soldier,
How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek?
To My Church have you been true?"

The soldier squared his shoulders and said,
"No, Lord, I guess I ain't.
Because those of us who carry guns,
Can't always be a saint.

I've had to work most Sundays,
And at times my talk was tough.
And sometimes I've been violent,
Because the world is awfully rough.

But, I never took a penny,
That wasn't mine to keep...
Though I worked a lot of overtime,
When the bills got just too steep.

And I never passed a cry for help,
Though at times I shook with fear.
And sometimes, God, forgive me,
I've wept unmanly tears.

I know I don't deserve a place,
Among the people here.
They never wanted me around,
Except to calm their fears.

If you've a place for me here,
Lord,It needn't be so grand.
I never expected or had too much,
But if you don't, I'll understand.

There was a silence all around the throne,
Where the saints had often trod.
As the soldier waited quietly,
For the judgment of his God.

"Step forward now, you soldier,
You've borne your burdens well.
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,
You've done your time in Hell."

~Author Unknown~

It's the Soldier, not the reporter who has given us the freedom of the press.
It's the Soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.
It's the Soldier, not the politicians that ensures our right to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.
It's the Soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag.

If you care to offer the smallest token of recognition and appreciation for the Military, please pray for our men and women who have served and are currently serving our country and pray for those who have given the ultimate sacrifice for freedom

Mary Hunt is the creator of The Cheapskate Monthly newsletter, which can be ordered online at www.cheapskatemonthly.com/um. You can e-mail questions or tips at cheapskate@unitedmedia.com or Everyday Cheapskate, P.O. Box 2135 Paramount, CA 90723. All correspondence becomes the property of Cheapskate Monthly.

THIS ONE OPENED MY EYES!

This 'disease' can be costly

I could never be a medical transcriptionist. It's not that I couldn't keep up with the typing or figure out the doctors' handwriting. My problem would be the symptoms and medical conditions. I'd have all of them.

To say that I am easily influenced is like saying the Titanic sprung a leak.

Knowing this about myself, I wasn't all that surprised to end up with yet another condition after watching a recent episode of "Oprah" -- the disease to please. I passed their little "Do You Have the Disease to Please?" self-diagnosis quiz with flying colors. Actually, I wouldn't expect anything less from myself. The first question: "Do you ever say Yes when what you really want to say is No?"

Well, of course I do -- doesn't everyone? Or how about this one: "Is it extremely important to me to be liked by nearly everyone in my life?" What kind of a question is that? Who in their right mind would answer "no" to that one? Don't we all want to be liked? I whipped through that quiz in about 10 seconds flat, answering every question "yes," "yes," "yes" and ... "yes"!
I have to admit this need to please played a huge role in my own experiences with getting deeply into debt. I rarely spent for myself. I was forever buying for others, picking up the tab, giving the best gift. I wanted recognition, approval and acceptance. That can create a lot of pressure. I am learning that this "disease" starts with wanting to be a good person. You want to be liked. You want to be chosen first, never last. You respond to everyone's requests and just keep doing more and more with promptness and perfection.

In a way, this might seem like more of a conflict than a revelation. After all, aren't we called to generosity out of hearts of gratitude and service? Isn't it selfish to always say "no"? Yes, but there is a huge difference between authentic service and using it as an opportunity to manipulate. The test is to ask "What's my motivation? Is my action pure, or is it a sneaky way to get something in return?" Are you giving that expensive birthday gift to a 3-year-old so she will love you more and call you her favorite grandma, or because you love her and it will improve her life? Are you serving on that board so others will notice you and think you are a good person, or because you have an authentic emotional investment in the cause?

Analyze your motivation. Before you say "yes" to anything, do a quick self-analysis. Why am I doing this? Why am I buying this? What am I expecting in return? If you can answer "nothing in return," then your motivation is pure. If there's another answer, it's probably some form of manipulation. Experts say that time is the best antidote for the disease to please, whether that's five minutes or five months. Never answer on the spot. Nothing is so urgent you cannot take time to think about it. Acting to please can be noble and gratifying as long as the decision to do so is for the joy it brings, not for what you expect to get in return.

~MARY HUNT

OLD AGE~
(Thanks for sharing this, Lady Rose!)

“The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.

Old age, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body .. the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken back by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don’t agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I’ve aged, I’ve become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I’ve become my own friend. I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn’t need, but looks so avantegarde my patio. I am entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 a.m, and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60’s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love … I will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the bikini set.

They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten … and I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. I can say “no”, and mean it. I can say “yes”, and mean it.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself anymore. I’ve even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day.”

Author unknown

Prevent Hydroplaning

True story A 36 year old female had an accident several weeks ago and totaled her car. A resident of Kilgore, Texas, she was traveling between Gladewater &Kilgore. It was raining, though not excessive, when her car suddenly began to hydroplane and literally flew through the air. She was not seriously injured but very stunned at the sudden occurrence! When she explained to the highway patrolman what had happened he told her something that every driver should know
-NEVER DRIVE IN THE RAIN WITH YOUR CRUISE CONTROL ON.
She had thought she was being cautious by setting the cruise control and maintaining a safe consistent speed in the rain. But the highway patrolman told her that if the cruise control is on and your car begins to hydroplane -- when your tires loose contact with the pavement your car will accelerate to a higher rate of speed and you take off like an airplane. She told the patrolman that was exactly what had occurred.
We all know you have little or no control over a car when it begins to hydroplane. You are at the mercy of the Good Lord. The highway patrol estimated her car was actually traveling through the air at 10 to 15 miles per hour faster than the speed set on the cruise control. The patrolman said this warning should be listed, on the drivers seat sun-visor - NEVER USE THE CRUISE CONTROL WHEN THE PAVEMENT IS WET OR ICY, along with the airbag warning.
We tell our teenagers to set the cruise control and drive a safe speed-but we don't tell them to use the cruise control only when the pavement is dry. The only person the accident victim found, who knew this (besides the patrolman), was a man who had had a similar accident, totaled his car and sustained severe injuries.